Thank you for visiting Awkward Lesbian Sex Story-Fest 2012!

If you’ve forgotten:

Maybe you’ve observed how everytime anyone introduces anything gross about lesbian sex, we constantly link to
the fingernails article
? That’s because the world-wide-web badly does not have the lesbian/bisexual/queer-girl-person gender same in principle as modern’s gender tales or Sassy’s

Mortifying Moments.

You almost certainly have an embarrassing sex tale you should tell the web. For awards! The story tends to be quick or very long (50 to 4500 terms sounds pertaining to correct) and that can be cringe-worthy or entertaining.

The winner will get the Pop Your Top kit from
Great Oscillations
(a form of this package was once
examined by NSFW Sunday
), which includes:

+ Hitachi Magic Wand

+ Fuchsia Pop Top Deluxe Silicone connection

+ 2 oz. package of Kindly Liquid Lube

+ And net reputation!

Vote for the favorite from today until monday
! The champion might be launched in a few days. Now: it’s the perfect time. Down the page, the absolute most awkward, mortifying, uncomfortable, or humorous lesbian intercourse stories posted by you.

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1. Lesbian Auto-Sex

My existing girl and I also happened to be on our very own long ago from cinema one-night, and since I wasn’t sleeping over we decided to pull-over into an industry to make “use” of my car. Lengthy tale short, we had fantastic sex and chose to keep, we decided to go to turn the vehicle around, therefore was entirely stuck when you look at the mud. We experimented with every thing to have it away, including her attempting to press it resulting in the woman slipping dull on the face during the dirt. In the end I experienced to phone dad (who didn’t understand gayness or mentioned girlfriend) at 1:30 a.m., clarify we were trapped in a field, why on earth we might even experienced industry after all, and ask him in the future tow us around.

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2. Not Gender regarding the Beach

You understand how they claim that “sex regarding the beach” is truly gorgeous and interesting and additionally they have a cocktail known as after it? Well that’s BULLSHIT. Although whoever “they” are likely designed like, a warm bright coastline with blankets and perhaps a chaise, and not a cold, windy night on Manhattan Beach which, if you aren’t from LA region, is a lot like the anus of beaches … in a negative way. Anyways, I’m going upon this woman i am dating, although wind keeps blowing mud in my face/in their vagina, and I also’m coughing and it’s really literally humiliating. In order for was terrible. But how would I get me? We go back to her spot, in which we check out get very stoned that I literally COULD NOT DISCOVER HER VAGINA. Cannot believe it is. I passed aside somewhere around the woman legs. The worst component is actually, bc the lesbo neighborhood in Los Angeles is really so tiny, we see the girl all the time. As a vintage YM problem might say, OMG MORTIFYING.

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3. Fucking in addition to Police

Summer time before university, I got my basic girl, as soon as i ran across the miracles of homosexual sexytimes I found myself clearly obsessed, concise of being willing to exercise practically anywhere. Exhibit A: one night after a dinner away, we decided to park my car behind a closed-for-the-summer basic school and get at it. A lady’s gotta do just what a woman’s gotta perform, amirite??

So everything is heading fantastic until we see headlights behind you and we understand THIS IS THE COPS. We have outfitted as fast as humanly feasible and after a couple of frantic moments of, “YOU’RE SAID TO BE THE BUTCH ONE,” “NO YOU ARE,” we decide to just take equivalent responsibility and then we both escape the automobile. The policeman is a huge old guy and demonstrably shocked to see two females arise from the vehicle. He’s completely, “What are you ladies undertaking back here?” and that I never also consider intercourse happened to him as a possibility, despite the fact that we had been wet, disheveled, the vehicle ended up being steamy, etc. HETEROSEXISM AT ITS FINEST! So we’re like, “Oh, uh, going out, sorry.” He eyes us suspiciously and states, “Well, i have reached take your information.” My personal lady is freaking out about the woman moms and dads getting wind of any such thing, but the guy guarantees us it’s just program process. So he hands united states a notepad and it has all of us take note of all of our names (precisely why he didn’t only request all of our permits, I have not a clue). He shines his flashlight therefore we is able to see the notepad immediately after which we observe … my girlfriend’s hand is COVERED in blood. I suppose I’d received my duration during intercourse and hadn’t noticed. Therefore IMMEDIATELY the policeman is like, “WAIT, YOU’RE BLEEDING. WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT HERE?” And my girlfriend views and freaks out and accocunts for some insane tale about having slashed by herself on pocket-knife on the keychain. The policeman claims on looking around the vehicle (for bodies?) and, discovering absolutely nothing, ultimately finally finally lets us go. But not before my girl provides inadvertently obtained my personal period blood all-around their notepad.

We vowed to never make love behind a school again (yet not never in a car, cuz that’s merely too good), after that chuckled for like 6 months directly. For many years afterward we would joke in regards to the time we got caught ‘”red-handed.”

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4. Moist T-Shirt Contest

My home is a school dormitory, as really does my now ex-girlfriend. One-night we had been within her area, having a smashing good time trying out the strap-on she’d just bought from Edens Fantasies. In the same manner circumstances were about to actually “explode,” the flame alarm moved off. My personal girlfriend had been trying to get the strap on off, nevertheless straps were twisted, individuals were shouting within the hall means, the RA was slamming on home, I became nude and that I couldn’t discover my bra, i did not have sneakers, she was still twisted when you look at the really funnel… She ended up simply taking the doll from the utilize, putting some sweatpants on over it, and now we ran outside, neither people in shoes, me only sporting a t-shirt and a couple of her shorts… and it’s pouring. My personal t-shirt is white. I don’t have a bra. Naturally, it was an uncomfortable evening.

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5. The 69’ers

My personal sweetheart and I also were trying to 69 the very first time. We believed it might be beautiful to test something new between the sheets. I happened to be toward the base and she ended up being on the top. Okay, thus picture my face-on the woman vagina and really the others is perfectly up to the creative imagination. Really I found myself sorts of uncomfortable since I did not have much mind service. Thus I made a decision to raise my mind a bit in order that i possibly could place some pillows under there or something. Really… as I was actually wanting to go my personal mind a little she should have observed some thing was actually taking place and slightly pushed down. Really, maybe not this type of recommended because the woman whole vagina/bottom half went right up into my face. Yea, we chuckled for an entire few minutes next.

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6. Oops!

Once in senior high school I became fingerbanging this truly hot lady at the woman household and she squirted. She was surprised, and I maybe was too, but she began whining! And that I ended up being younger and extremely peculiar, and I also nevertheless have no idea precisely why but I started chuckling, frustrating. Where point she slapped me personally (totally deserved it), decided to go to the toilet returned and collected my clothes (taking walks forms). To make sure that had been suitable but, I am not saying even kidding once I say that day-after-day that this tale haunts me personally i need to air-five Dan Savage because it very improves: as I in the morning leaving we see her mama and that I get right away nervous but serve lovable and innocent because I found myself an overall total charmer: “Bye, thanks for having me personally,” alongside these bullshit. As I turn from the their, she grabbed me personally of the elbow and said, “right previously drilling touch my personal girl once again, dyke.” I wish I would mentioned, and even just believed anything smart and bitchy but I just mentioned, “sorry sorry” performed this shameful bowing motion and i-cried on the drive house.

We most likely wrecked that family members though so it’s cool.

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7. Ice

Single I was having sensuous time using my girlfriend whenever – experience specially turned-on and fresh – we interupted the intercourse claiming, “i will go get ice, i’m going to be straight back.” When I had been moving away from the bed my gf pointed to a wet place in which I had been, saying, “Check that which you kept!” and giggling. Laughing, when i pointed in which she was and said, “appear that which you kept!” Strike one. Throughout the bed where my personal sweetheart was indeed was a tiny small streak of poop. She instantly burst into rips. I became shocked. The gorgeous time had taken a-sudden change the even worse. As my personal gf’s sobs became stronger i discovered it more and more difficult to supress my personal laughter until eventually it burst regarding throat. Strike two. At this my girlfriend – still whining – endured up-and began frantically stripping the sheets from sleep. She rapidly paced across the area putting brand-new sheets on, blubbering exactly how gross she thought as well as how embarrassed she was actually. We helplessly viewed and attempted to put in words of service advising her I didn’t consider it was that gross. “It isn’t really a problem, you merely failed to rub perfectly!” Strike three. She folded on the floor at the conclusion of the bed, pulled the best comforter up around the woman system, sobbed, and consumed a whole field of cookies for the next twenty mins. Finally, she calmed down, and now we laugh about this. Still, it had been among funniest however most horrifying encounters of my love life.

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8. Stuck Fisting

So, my personal gf and I also were watching some porno on Cyber Dyke one-night and had gotten truly involved with it, so we turned it off going play. I happened to be fingerblasting this lady and each and every time I could believe she ended up being near to orgasm, We backed off to try to lengthen situations. This went on for 30 minutes. I finally had adequate and wanted the lady to finish, so I worked up to fisting the girl, which had been one thing relatively brand-new for of us at that time. Whenever she eventually arrived, it absolutely was truly forceful, it really hurt my personal hand. We gradually visited simply take my personal offer and well, she don’t like to overlook it, lol. We had been caught. I found myself entirely panicked, i did not think I became ever-going for my offer. Neither one of you knew what direction to go, therefore she begrudgingly labeled as the woman brother and dished the specific situation to her. We heard uproarious laughter from the other end associated with the phone for like five minutes, all the while my hand still is caught. Ultimately, her jackass cousin decided to be good and do slightly Googling about the subject to greatly help us on and that I at long last worked my fist cost-free. We never lived that down though, her brother however teases myself about this essentially constantly.

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9. Rainbow Gathering

When my gf (of 6+ decades) and I got together, I happened to be younger and inexperienced. Extremely inexperienced. We had been located in a property that would be regarded as some sort of indoor Rainbow Gathering with seven some other roommates, right across from a few frat residences,and really near to the campus of big community institution. No body closed the front door because everyone was also stoned to remember where their unique tactics had been. My girlfriend and that I had lately bought the first strap-on. Once I use it regarding first-time, after about an hour or so of band modifying and dildo positioning, my personal girl burst into nervous fun. Seeing a dildo quickly sprout from my big-tits, big-ass, buzzcut home most likely looked slightly absurd. Ten full minutes afterwards she had become throughout the silliness of it all giving me a blowjob. Then the door unsealed. A burly hunting, demonstrably intoxicated frat guy wandered in, stared at you for a moment, right after which mentioned, “Ohhhhhh. Sorry, I thought this was my personal friend’s place,” in a tone that conveyed both a feeling of shock and excitement, like he’d just claimed the lotto or something. Following the guy stood there, staring. My personal girlfriend, coping with the surprise very first, informed him to get the fuck away. The guy turned and was presented with, maybe not towards entry way. My personal girl, having turned-in to 6 feet of pure femme craze from this time, had gotten up-and chased him the fuck out of our home, nude. I was kept from inside the room, determining whether or not to upset the sensitive balance of bands that conducted the dildo in position or to throw my personal tiger striped robe (directed at me personally as a gift from my personal grandmother) within the whole ordeal and pray it failed to drop available. We chosen the latter, and timidly made my way-out to sign up from inside the intoxicated frat man herding.

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10. Shower Scene

My personal sweetheart and that I had only completed setting it up on subtly in the shower of dressing area during the theater inside my school. She sweetly kissed me personally throughout the check and came in for a hug. Naturally I immediately bro-patted the lady in the back with two taps immediately after which believed right away “what the fuck was that?… I hope she doesn’t notice/say any such thing.” I conducted on for an additional 2nd to pay your possibly-strange bro pat. But then whenever we pulled aside, she checked me, blasts into fun and mentioned, “Did you just pat me personally on the back…?” We appeared down in total embarrassment. “ended up being that meant to imply

good job old bean

or something like that?” I found myself awesome petrified by whole experience at that time however now each time there is an especially fantastic rousing game of gender somebody becomes patted on the straight back.

Vote to suit your favorite story
right here
! champions are going to be announced in the future.

Most stuff occurred in lesbian intercourse recently!

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The Rumpus reviewed

The requirement of Various Behaviours

, a collection by Shannon Cain that gives several point of views on sexuality and identification:

“Clear sexual summaries gasoline a lot of Cain’s greatest passages, as really does her refreshingly agnostic and all-embracing point of view on sexual desire and identification. In “this is one way It Starts,” the protagonist Jane starts the story with a “boy” and a “girl” she loves just as: “the lady is keen on her strap-on. The kid is actually partial to cunnilingus. This might be satisfying to Jane. Plus, Jane can say this into girl: ‘It could be good if the cock were bigger.’ Jane will never get this to statement on boy, although it may be a little genuine.” Jane eventually ends up with neither the boy nor your ex, nevertheless story never signifies that she should or could get to an identity-limiting epiphany, and rather closes with a separate assortment of bittersweet paradox that i will not unveil.”

+ Some people have already been wanting to know whether sex addiction is actually actual or perhaps is made up by individuals who just have a lot of sex.
According to
the

Vancouver Sun

, feminine sex addiction is actually growing, and while the examples this article utilizes tend to be flawed (porno, s&m, and having affairs are reported as evidence that “this thing is actually morphing inside top people”). But odd statements aside, the article raises certain fascinating things.
According to

Jezebel:

“That uncontrollable intimate behavior is an agonizing ailment is obvious, but what’s not yet determined is what, just, comprises the difference between gender addiction and common uncontrollable conduct, or if intercourse addiction even is available, about when you look at the vision of some mental health professionals. One critic of sexual dependency alerts that conflating intimate obsession with intercourse addiction does “real” addicts a disservice. To put it differently, absolutely a big difference between becoming an alcoholic and liking porno a little too a lot. For example, the guy offers examples of other activities for which men and women engage compulsively— like physical exercise, stamp collecting, and songs fandom. Nobody’s “addicted” to Radiohead. About, I don’t think so.”

+ Having a “weird” name can impact your internet internet dating alternatives.
Based on
research of 47,000 users of a German online dating site, individuals will “rather unappealing” basic names was given fewer profile hits than others with “somewhat appealing” labels:

Very first labels are attached to stereotypes. Once we become familiar with folks, the look of them takes on a role, but therefore really does what this person is known as. That’s usually the basic details we become. This feeling features a robust effect on the way we procedure additional info about that individual. If somebody features a dubious title, we often instantly link him with a dubious label. And now we proceed to examine all more information based on this dubiousness.

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Whether flirting is actually an appropriate instrument for reporters has already been the main topic of discussion from inside the UK, as a parliamentary report commissioned following phone-hacking scandal
says it isn’t
:

“in proceeding “ten strategies utilized by some within the mass media – beware,” it says: “Flirting. Typically interlinked with alcoholic beverages. Designed to help you to fall the defences and say more than you intended. Be mindful.”

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